The invention relates to a composite interlayer and a method for brazing metal with a ceramic and ceramic matrix composite material by utilizing the same, and solves a difficult problem of poor connector performance caused by a large amount of brittle phases generated in a strong reaction of a connector interface during brazing of the metal and the ceramic and ceramic matrix composite material by adopting an active brazing material and large residual stress of the connector after welding. The composite interlayer comprises an upper-layer brazing material, a soft interlayer and a lower-layer brazing material. The method comprises the following steps: 1, brazing material preparation, wherein the brazing material is prepared at a certain ratio; 2, cleaning, wherein cleaning is performed by acetone; 3, assembling, wherein a to-be-welded base material and the composite interlayer are assembled according to a certain sequence; 4, welding, wherein welding is performed in a vacuum brazing furnace. The operation is simple, and the addition of the interlayer inhibits over-reaction of the brazing material and the base material, reduces residual stress of the connector, and greatly improves the connector performance. The method is used for brazing the metal with the ceramic and ceramic matrix composite material.