The disclosed computer-implemented method for producing access control list caches including effective information access permissions across disparate storage devices may include (i) receiving, at a computing device, an instruction to prepare an access control list (ACL) cache and (ii) performing a security action. The security action may include (A) recursively parsing, at the computing device, at least one respective ACL for information stored on at least two disparate storage devices, (B) identifying, at each step of recursion, each direct user and each indirect user having information access permissions in at least one of the respective ACLs, (C) determining, for each unique user in the respective ACLs, per-control point effective permissions, and (D) storing the per-control point effective information access permissions in the ACL cache. Various other methods, systems, and computer-readable media are also disclosed.