The invention provides a car door safety control valve and belongs to the technical field of valves. The car door safety control valve comprises a first valve body and a second valve body, a first valve rod is arranged inside the first valve body, a second valve rod is arranged inside the second valve body, the first valve body is provided with a first main air outlet, a first main air inlet and a second main air outlet, and first pilot assemblies are arranged at the two ends of the first valve body respectively; when the first valve rod is located at a first position, the first main air inlet communicates with the second main air outlet; when the first valve rod is located at a second position, the first main air inlet communicates with the first main air outlet; the second valve body is provided with a first auxiliary air inlet and a first auxiliary air outlet, the first auxiliary air outlet communicates with the first pilot assemblies at the two ends of the first valve body, and when the second valve body moves between a third position and a fourth position, the first auxiliary air inlet communicates with the first auxiliary air outlet or is disconnected from the first auxiliary air outlet. The car door safety control valve can control car doors to be normally opened or closed or lock the car doors. The invention further provides a car door safety control system.